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Meaningful Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

“Beggars can not be choosers; but on the other hand, begging is pure profit.”

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“It’s tough on our teenagers. They get their parents at such an advanced age that they find it hard to retrain us.”

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“Patience, is what you admire in the car behind you; not the car in front of you.”
– Rabbi Krohn

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“It is said that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know who his wife is until he marries her. This is also true in Europe, and in Asia, and in America, and in Brooklyn…”
– Author Unknown

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“Some woman can talk for hours on any subject. My wife doesn’t need a subject.”
– Anonymous

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“ If mini-marts are open 365 days a year, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, why do the doors have locks on them?”
– Leo Anthony Gallagher

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“When I was born, I was so surprised, I couldn’t talk for a year and half.”
– Gracie Allen

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“I drink to make other people interesting.”
– George Jean Nathan

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“A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.”
– H.L. Mencken

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“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams

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